The Boy Inside

This is a letter to the boy inside me, and the boy inside every man out there. It has been so many years and we haven’t really been in touch. You have desired attention, but I haven’t been able to give it. I hear you cry out every now and then, but society says you don’t deserve any audience. I know it kills to be ignored, but heck what can I do? I am grown. I am a man now. Or, so I think. I have other things to attend to as a matter of urgency, so you can wait. I mean, it is not like you are entirely out of my life’s picture, it is just that we play only once in a while, and only when it is convenient.

But oh, how I miss you. You know I can’t say this openly, but I really do. I remember how it didn’t cost a thing to get along with other people, and I remember how easy it was to play with other kids’ toys. Well, when they were in the mood to play. But you didn’t mind, you would patiently wait for them to get in the mood. I remember how it didn’t matter who was a boy, or who was a girl. In your innocence, everyone was just a human being. I remember how it wasn’t such a big deal to be vulnerable. You cried when it hurt and laughed when it was funny. Hurt didn’t have classifications, and fun wasn’t compartmentalized. Life was simple.

But dear little one, times have changed. I needed to grow up so fast. Especially for me. I had to put off childishness as soon as possible. And I’m not even speaking in the context of how 1 Corinthians 13:11 puts it. It didn’t matter to anyone whether or not I was ready to grow up. I just had to. I didn’t have an option. Society terms it “becoming responsible”, but whatever that means right? I just know that it came with tons of restrictions. So, display of emotions became intolerable. I cannot dare to cry even if I wanted to. Hurt became a normal part of life, only measured in degrees. But what can’t I handle?

Society says I can handle everything, but how to, nobody told me. I know they said something about being strong, tough, and forward-looking, but who knows these things? Dear little one, let me tell you a secret; I’m terrible at being strong, tough, and forward-looking. Well, maybe forward-looking. But strong and tough are not my thing. Especially because within the context of my time, it involves denying almost everything that makes me human. Including little you. See why we don’t get to relate as often as we would want to? But I thought to take the time to write you this letter, and maybe by so doing, I could reach a few “boys” locked up in a few “men” out there.

So, dear little ones, I know how hard it is that you have been denied expression, but that is because the world does not know that there is strength in innocence. That the marriage of the boy and the man is magic. Jesus said in Mark 10:15 that “…whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” So even Jesus acknowledged that a childlike heart posture is a key to inheriting the kingdom of God and of course everything that comes with it.

Am I saying that growing up is wrong? Of course not. I couldn’t refuse it even if I wanted to. The boy Jesus also grew in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man (Luke 2:52 NIV). It says of Samuel too that he grew in stature and in favour with the Lord and with people (1 Samuel 2:26 NIV). It is a natural course of life to increase in age, and it is expected that physical appearance and mental shifts should accompany the process. But snuffing the life out of the boy in me is what I have a problem with. For crying out loud I like to play too. I like to zone out sometimes and pretend I am not responsible for the world. I’m not talking irresponsibility. I am only saying that the man you see me as has a child inside that has a need for some pampering.

So, dear society, listen to me for a minute as I attempt to make a case for my fellow men. Take it easy on us! The world is hard enough as it is. We need a break. Not a break from being men. Of course, we understand our calling, and responsibilities. We know we have to be up and doing; providing, protecting, loving, caring, and modelling. But we honestly need a break from having to tough it up all the time. We need a break from having to appear strong, even when deep inside we are dying. We need a break from having to figure life out before we are accepted. We have tears to cry, and burdens to share too, and we need to know that it is alright to be vulnerable, especially before our women.

Oh, dear women, we do love and appreciate all that you are. It is indeed such a pleasure to look out for you and be the shoulder you need to lean on. It is yet an honour to take on the world as soldiers that we are, for your sakes, and lay at your feet the spoils. It is a God calling for us. But dear women, what happens when we fail sometimes? What happens when we are unable to meet up the expected returns? What happens when the world deals us a deadly blow and we just need a place of rest and succour? What happens when nothing seems to be adding up for us? What happens when we are even too scared to try again? Are we still guaranteed of a faithful helpmeet in you? Are we permitted to cry, and not be worried that it would alter your perspective of us?

All I’m saying is; a man is first a boy before he ever became a man. And sometimes the boy in him just wants to be free again. Not as in childishness, but as in a connection to that which makes him human. So here’s to my boys turned men out there; it is okay to cry. It is okay to be afraid. It is okay to be a little confused sometimes. To not have all the answers the world is looking for. It is okay to show a little weakness and not worry about being judged. It is okay to be human. That is who you are. Don’t let the world snuff the life out of you with outrageous expectations. I know you are trying, only keep up the good work. The world may not understand your struggles, but trust me I do. You may be down today, but resident in you is sufficient power to get back on your feet and take on the world. Connect with your boy a little more, for in him is the spice your life needs.

Yours in faith.

Shalom!

Biyama Joseph

#TheInfluencer