Relationship Manual

God is a hundred percent interested in every dating, courtship, and marriage relationship. In fact, he has a stake in every single one. Why? He instituted the concept. It was his idea in the first place and as such, desires for it to run on his divine established principles. Imagine how Mercedes, Toyota, or Ford Motors would feel when they see a product they invested not just a huge sum of money on, but also an intense technical process into producing, underutilized, misused or even abused. Knowing that they also took the pain of sending out user manuals with those products just so you know how to make the best use of them would further devastate them. They put in such a level of diligence just to guard against abuse.

Now, most people are completely oblivious of the fact that there are principles that guide the operation of human relationships of every kind. Because there’s a mastermind behind creation and the relationships that exist between them, the creator also thought is wise to send us a comprehensive life manual (His Word). It is important that I state here that if you are not a Bible-believing Christian, then this is not necessarily addressed to you.

The reason you use only about five to ten percent of the functions on most tech devices you own is simply that you never bother to study the manuals attached to them. You don’t know so much about their functionalities so you settle for what every other person is doing with theirs. You make the same mistakes they make and end up abusing or underutilizing your devices as they do too. Take the mobile phone for example; most people own gadgets worth hundreds and even thousands of dollars with super technological capabilities but only know how to make calls, chat, send text messages, play games, and yes, take pictures too. What a waste right? It is needless to mention that most people actually own these devices for status sake though, but this is a story for another day.

How did I get to talking about gadgets in matters of relationship? My point is simply that, the reason the opposite sex is only good for “sex” in most relationships is that, that is all the parties involved know to do with each other. And once the feel of sex becomes stale with the current partner, people are quick to look for an upgrade. An upgrade they would end up abusing the same way they did the previous. See why I used a phone to earlier illustrate my point? An upgrade in the context of human relationships may be; better looking, curvier shape, bigger hips, taller, broader shoulders, more handsome, richer, etc.

Do you now see that when the purpose of a thing is not known, the abuse of it is inevitable?

Like with the products mentioned above, unless you understand that the originator of relationships, especially ones involving parties of the opposite sex did not intend for them to be so used, you’ll always act within the confines of what you know. And this is because you will not bring yourself to study and commit to heart what is written in the scriptures.

This is what I have found in considering the need to study and abide by the provisions of scripture which in this case is our manual for relationships. It is that these principles place a certain amount of restrictions as well as demands on us if we must do a relationship the god way. These are demands of commitment, genuine love, accountability (both to partners and overseers), growth (both spiritual and mental), protection, sacrifice, et cetera. And humans by nature are not to be tamed. We like to do as we please.

I mentioned earlier that God has a stake in this matter, so when it comes to relationships, scripture only recognizes three categories; Brothers in Christ, Sisters in Christ, and Married. So when people ask “how far is too far when we’re dating?” I ask, “how far is too far with your sister?” Or, “how far is too far with your brother?” If you wouldn’t abuse or take advantage of your biological sibling for whatever reason and then try to replace them like some piece of item for a newer version, then your spouse or partner should not be subjected to such inhumane treatment.

The bottom line is, the word of God must of necessity become the manual by which we govern every aspect of our lives. And this can only be when we commit to studying and applying every instruction regardless of the seeming constraints.

So, I close with a verse that captures it succinctly for me. “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” (Psalm 119:9 ESV).

Shalom!

Biyama Joseph
#TheInfluencer