My Broken Beauty: Part One

I write this based on popular demand, and the need for closure around such sensitive areas as characterizing the journeys of most young people in my day. The burden to pen this down was borne out of a recent conversation with a group of people who for some reason began to recount on past experiences, both personal and of others who didn’t think they could hold it in any longer and needed to air out. Largely because they finally have found the strength to speak about it, and didn’t mind others sharing too.

What is this sensitive issue?

Let me tell you a story.

Lisa was a cute little girl of about three years old. The pride of daddy and mommy, and the apple of their eyes too. Little Lisa was the favorite of her parents, maybe partly because she was the last of two kids. But little Lisa was truly cute. She was those type of kids that steal your heart at first encounter. Beautiful, cuddly, agreeable, and very smart. Lisa lacked for nothing. In fact, she had a special nanny who took very good care of her.

Nanny went with Lisa everywhere Lisa had to be. School, Park, Toy shop, Friends’ birthday parties and so on. You see, daddy and mommy were very ambitious professionals, and this meant that they were hardly around for the children. But they had a big house, cars and so much money to show for their dedication to their jobs. Plus, nanny is doing a good job looking after the kids.

Lisa had an elder brother John who didn’t care much for the constant absence of mommy and daddy. He had large enough a collection of toys and video games to compensate for that. Besides, he didn’t grow up knowing so much warmth from his parents, so it was normal not to have mommy and daddy around. But there was one person he couldn’t live without; nanny. Let’s call nanny Sarah.

Sarah was a young lady of 18 who moved in with Lisa’s family when John turned four. It became too much work for mommy to juggle work and taking care of the child, so she took in a house help. John quickly grew fond of Sarah, especially because she gave him all the warmth mom and dad deprived him of. The problem? Sarah was a young, hot-blooded, sex-hyped teen who found in John a means to explore her fantasies. She was hooked on internet pornography and John became a helpless victim of the acts. Sarah began to teach little John at five how to pleasure a woman by touching her in sensitive areas of her body. A job John gladly did to satisfy his curiosity from things he had seen on TV and also on Sarah’s phone. Sarah had introduced John to pornography too.

Sarah’s escapades did not stop with John. As Lisa grew, Sarah introduced her to the game of touching. That’s how she nick-named it. She would play the game with Lisa when she bathed her in the bathroom, or wherever the opportunity presented itself. And such opportunities were plentiful since they were always together. Of course, Sarah had warned the kids never to mention a word of it to mommy and daddy, or else she would not play with them anymore. She was the only companion they had.

It started as a game for the kids until it became a major addiction. Their young bodies had begun to respond to the pleasure of sex as they experimented with Aunty Sarah, and with themselves. Yes, John began to try out certain things with his sister Lisa as he saw in the video clips, or whenever Aunty Sarah sneaked one uncle into the house to do a better job. Apparently, Aunty Sarah was too big for little John, so he needed a more compatible companion.
Today, Lisa is 25 and has already aborted twice for her elder brother, and multiple times for other men. She’s hooked on pornography, masturbation, and indiscriminate sexual activities with whatever partner comes her way. Both male and female. Although beautiful and very intelligent, Lisa doesn’t think there’s anything else to live for. She has had two failed attempts at suicide.

John didn’t live to see his 30th birthday. He committed suicide when mommy and daddy in the bid to curb the menace sent him off to school in Canada, miles away from the only true companion he grew to know; his sister Lisa. He couldn’t stand the separation, so he killed himself.

You see, mommy and daddy eventually found out, but the best they knew to do was try to save the family’s name. They fired Aunty Sarah and threatened to file a lawsuit against her if she ever mentioned anything to anyone. They separated the kids thinking that would work but ended up losing their son to suicide and their daughter to depression.

The end.

Did anything resonate from the story above? I realized it is a common journey with most young people. Maybe not in the exact context, but most people have come through situations of childhood sexual abuse that have left them with scars. Some have lost confidence as a result, while others are dealing with strong addictions to pornography, masturbation, and sexual misconduct from seeds sown when they were much younger.

If this is you, I’d like you to know that there’s help in only one person who has the power to make all things new. He restores confidence, he heals wounds, he takes away addictions, and most of all, he sets you on the path to a fulfilling life. Jesus is able to do this. You should meet him.

I don’t guarantee that the journey to your healing would be pain-free, but I can guarantee that healing is sure. You will come out victorious. A sure therapy I found in scripture comes from confiding in believing brothers and sisters who can pray with and for you. (James 5:16). The idea is to bring those things to light and permit God to breathe healing on them by the people he surrounds you with.

You don’t have to carry the burden alone. It was not your fault, but you must understand that darkness thrives in secrecy. God wants to heal you. Receive strength and courage to speak up and watch your scars turn into testimonies that would eventually liberate others.

For everyone out there who is on the journey to healing, stay the course looking unto Jesus. Your victory is nearer than you think.

With love from me to you.


Biyama Joseph



An avid reader, and a passionate learner. Writer, Blogger, Communication Strategist. Love God, change the word.

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Biyama Joseph Ayuba

An avid reader, and a passionate learner. Writer, Blogger, Communication Strategist. Love God, change the word.